This has been quite a year. I am quite ready to see it go. Now. My Christmas letter may be something along these lines: "You know how some years are just better than others? Well, 2010 was not on our top 10 list! See you next year!"
If I listed everything that has happened this year, especially with our health, you would probably think I made it all up!
One of my favorite books of the Bible is Job. In fact, I lead a study in Job last fall with the ladies at church. Everyone always says "patience of Job". Well, I didn't find Job to be particularly patient! He was persistent and stayed faithful. God was the patient one! It helps to remember that my God has not forsaken me, is not torturing me or causing grief and pain. It helps to remember that God is God and I am not! Staying faithful through the trials this past year hasn't always been easy to be absolutely truthful! Yet, what are my options? Where can I go and be away from Him? Psalm 139 points that out nicely! Oh, to see His purpose. On the other hand, maybe not so much!! I think that is counter intuitive to faith!
Anyway, it has been our turn in the bottom of the barrel. Guess what? God is there in the bottom of the barrel with us! There are no guarantees that 2011 will be better; it might be worse! But to know that my God cares and won't ever forsake me makes it OK!
My own personal theological pet peeve: How many times do you hear people ask what God is trying to teach them through a trial and have they learned it yet so they can just get on with life?! Ummm, I don't think God allows trials just to teach us a lesson. That seems a little punitive to me. Do we learn things from trials and tribulations? Absolutely! We can learn patience, compassion and empathy for others, find inner strength we didn't know we had, learn we can't do it all after all, learn that lots of people prayed for you, etc., etc., etc. Yes, God allows trials, but, but, but...for me to try to figure out God's mind and His reasons just seems presumptuous to me. Again, this is just my rant! I can't quote a bazillion verses to support it, but there you go.
OK, just a brief update on my latest trial. I have had a frozen shoulder (adhesive capsulitis) for months and months. I've been going to PT for many months and had pretty much hit a wall. So, I went in last Monday and they put me under anesthesia and manually moved my arm in the socket to break up adhesions and hopefully gain some mobility. Painful? Oh, yeah! Back to heavy duty PT to keep it moving. Still hurts and will hurt for awhile! *sigh* The end result will be worth it.
I'll try to post some pictures one of these days. It has been so long since I even posted! Again. Take care of yourselves!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Back to work!
I returned to work today and it felt great! I only work 20 hours a week, so will only get about 10 hours in total, but that is fine for a start. I think I actually accomplished something! We'll see if my stamina lasts now! I did take a two hour nap today after I got home. I may need to do that for awhile, I am guessing. But I am finally feeling more "me" and not so much a deer in the headlights! Thank you for your prayers! God is good all the time; all the time God is good!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
THE BEAST
The Beast has been stalking me for years,
waiting, waiting, poking and testing from time to time.
The Beast never sleeps; is always waiting
to pounce, stealthily following me everywhere.
The Beast became impatient, toying with me
yet not revealing itself....yet.
The Beast, tired of teasing, pounced!
just when I thought myself safe.
The Beast unleashed its fury,
doing as much damage as possible.
The Beast watched as I struggled
to see, to walk, to understand.
The Beast had to be tamed, made to go away
and only the strongest weapon would do.
The Beast retreated, slowly at first
but retreated none the less.
The Beast doesn't know that I cannot be defeated
by its attacks. I am not afraid of this Beast.
This Beast whose name is...
Multiple Sclerosis.
copyright 2010
all rights reserved
waiting, waiting, poking and testing from time to time.
The Beast never sleeps; is always waiting
to pounce, stealthily following me everywhere.
The Beast became impatient, toying with me
yet not revealing itself....yet.
The Beast, tired of teasing, pounced!
just when I thought myself safe.
The Beast unleashed its fury,
doing as much damage as possible.
The Beast watched as I struggled
to see, to walk, to understand.
The Beast had to be tamed, made to go away
and only the strongest weapon would do.
The Beast retreated, slowly at first
but retreated none the less.
The Beast doesn't know that I cannot be defeated
by its attacks. I am not afraid of this Beast.
This Beast whose name is...
Multiple Sclerosis.
copyright 2010
all rights reserved
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Fun, fun week-end
Four other couples and Bill and I went to Richland, WA (eastern side of the state) for a car show over the week-end. I was a little concerned about my own stamina in the heat. I was careful to stay in the shade, took naps when I needed and even went to bed early, and did not play board games! Shocking! We had a great time of fellowship, stayed in a nice motel by the Columbia and just plain relaxed! It was a much needed get away! We do this annually and will hit Wenatchee next year!
Still no real changes in my health. Some days are better than others. My right eye is still a little twitchy - moves left better than right. I am still a little wobbly and use my cane when out and about just in case. I have a disabled placard now and that really helps as I have started to drive a short ways. That has done wonders psychologically! Fatigue is still a bug a boo, and my short term memory and the ability to multi-task are directly affected by the fatigue. So, that's the update as we come up on the third month on July 1. I never would have guessed it would take this long. I don't see the neurologist until August 2 so we will see what happens next. It is certainly not in my hands!
Still no real changes in my health. Some days are better than others. My right eye is still a little twitchy - moves left better than right. I am still a little wobbly and use my cane when out and about just in case. I have a disabled placard now and that really helps as I have started to drive a short ways. That has done wonders psychologically! Fatigue is still a bug a boo, and my short term memory and the ability to multi-task are directly affected by the fatigue. So, that's the update as we come up on the third month on July 1. I never would have guessed it would take this long. I don't see the neurologist until August 2 so we will see what happens next. It is certainly not in my hands!
Random Pictures
Ferrelli's Pizza Discussion
Princess Hannah with Dough Tiera
Silly Johnny
Do you like your new flip flops?
Happy Grandpa!
King of the Caterpillar!
Build a Bear
Build a Bear
Happy 5th Birthday, Hannah!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Time for Another Update!
All of a sudden it is past Father's Day, almost the end of June. We have had a miserable June so far. Mostly rain with a few nice days "sprinkled" in here and there! When I get pictures from yesterday I will try to remember to post.
Health Update: I am not getting worse, but have sort of hit a plateau. My right eye is almost normal and I am driving some. Just around the neighborhood so to speak. I still need the cane when out and about. Most days are pretty good as far as gait goes, and others not so much!
Fatigue is my biggest enemy. I still need a nap every day. If I do a lot in one day, or do something a few days in a row, I pay for it with worse fatigue. I hit the wall around 2 or 3:00 p.m. and have to sit down and rest. Sometimes I
wake up 2 hours later! (OK - most days I wake up 2 hours later. I think the longest nap was 4 hours in the very beginning.)
I think I am doing better cognitively as well. I had a really hard time multi-tasking at first and I still have problems if I get really tired. Short term memory is still an issue at times.
I know it sounds awful, but I really am doing pretty well. I got a disabled placard good for six months and that has really been a help. I will be re-evaluated on August 2 and we will go from there. I am still off work. I drop in for staff meetings once in awhile just to stay updated, but I know I can't handle a full (five hours!) day yet. I can get short term disability for 6 or 8 months I think.
Bill has surgery on his right foot on July 2 to remove bone spurs from the ankle joint. He is really looking forward to it! He has limped around for far too long!
We have a couple trips planned this summer. We leave for the tri-cities this week-end for a car show and in August we will go for a few days to Hot August Nights. It is really weird to think that I can actually have most of the summer off with Bill. Very nice that we get some together time. Check back with me the end of August and we shall see how it went!
I'll try to be more diligent about keeping updated! Try being the key word!
Health Update: I am not getting worse, but have sort of hit a plateau. My right eye is almost normal and I am driving some. Just around the neighborhood so to speak. I still need the cane when out and about. Most days are pretty good as far as gait goes, and others not so much!
Fatigue is my biggest enemy. I still need a nap every day. If I do a lot in one day, or do something a few days in a row, I pay for it with worse fatigue. I hit the wall around 2 or 3:00 p.m. and have to sit down and rest. Sometimes I
wake up 2 hours later! (OK - most days I wake up 2 hours later. I think the longest nap was 4 hours in the very beginning.)
I think I am doing better cognitively as well. I had a really hard time multi-tasking at first and I still have problems if I get really tired. Short term memory is still an issue at times.
I know it sounds awful, but I really am doing pretty well. I got a disabled placard good for six months and that has really been a help. I will be re-evaluated on August 2 and we will go from there. I am still off work. I drop in for staff meetings once in awhile just to stay updated, but I know I can't handle a full (five hours!) day yet. I can get short term disability for 6 or 8 months I think.
Bill has surgery on his right foot on July 2 to remove bone spurs from the ankle joint. He is really looking forward to it! He has limped around for far too long!
We have a couple trips planned this summer. We leave for the tri-cities this week-end for a car show and in August we will go for a few days to Hot August Nights. It is really weird to think that I can actually have most of the summer off with Bill. Very nice that we get some together time. Check back with me the end of August and we shall see how it went!
I'll try to be more diligent about keeping updated! Try being the key word!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
One month later....
Believe it or not, it has been one month since the MS attack. I am doing quite well. After three days on the Solu-medrol I could take the eye patch off and by the end of the fourth day I could read again! My walking was still pretty dicey but with a cane I could get around. I've had a check-up with my neurologist and he is quite impressed with how quickly I have progressed. However, my right eye still has some nystagmus and doesn't track 100%. I am still needing the cane, although I manage pretty well without it in the house. So, I will be off work for another month. I have an MRI in three weeks and then another follow-up. I seem to have hit a plateau but am trying really hard to be patient! If this is as good as it gets, then we will deal with that when the time comes. So, my days consist of resting, walking (I am going further without as much wobbling!), reading, playing games on the computer, doing a little housework, resting, napping! I have been surprisingly content with my circumstances. I get a little cabin fever now and again, but going out anywhere leaves me pretty wiped out still. My body obviously needs the rest, so I am being good to it! So that is my wildly exciting update! Keep on praying! I appreciate all your kind words of healing and love.
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